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My brother’s friend passed away in an accident. He was very cool. He always encouraged me. It was a huge shock to everyone. I just went jogging with him the past week. I still remember those memories. I was sad and afraid to say something.

Death is painful to the dear ones. It’s indeed depressing. We must hope they Rest In Peace. No one can understand what their family is going through.

But in this time, you are to be very careful of our words. You can end up speaking something wrong. But actually you were meaning to say something else. 

In this post, I want to share some things that you can say when someone passes away.


Writing in a Card:

  1. I am very sad to hear about _______ passing. Though he is not with us physically, he will live forever in our memories. 
  2. No words can express my thoughts. _______ was a great person. You are in our prayers. We pray that she rests in peace.
  3. My deepest condolences to you. He always touched our heart. He will never be forgotten. We are praying for your family. RIP.
  4. My heart is sorrowful. I was terrified to hear this news. I can’t imagine what pain you and your family will be going through. Please know that we all are here grieving with you. You are not alone. May _____ rest in peace. 
  5. (Sayings) she used to say this always to me. It always helped me in my life. He was always helpful whenever I needed. Such an awesome person. He will still be the best (teacher) that I will always remember.


You can use these same messages in social media sites like Facebook and Whatsapp to share your love and care for the deceased’s family.

To Closest Friends and Family


  1. I can’t imagine this happening. It is so heartbreaking. Just the other day she was happy and fine. I can’t believe this. At this time, only sweet memories of her comforts us. May she rest in peace. 
  2. _______was such a sweet person. Always smiling and happy. Whenever I was sad, he always made sure that I forget my sorrows and made me happy. There are lot of good things he has done that you don’t know. I can remember it. (You can share a small incident). Please take care. You are in our prayers everyday.
  3. We can never forget her. She still lives in our heart. I still see her smiling when I close my eyes. May she be in peace. We would like to share your burdens. If you need any help, please call. We will always be there to help you as much as we can. 
  4. Truly it’s a great loss to us. There was no human I have seen who was better than ______ in helping. He would always support us with whatever he has. Today I am like this because of him. He was like a ______ to me. You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. 
  5. He was my best friend. I can’t understand properly what’s going on. It is so hurtful to even think of him now. No matter what, he always backed me up during my studies. He helped me win the game many times. We ate and played well. He was not just a friend. He was a brother to me. I am sorry to hear this news. RIP _________.
  6. She was the best in painting. The teacher used to praise her. I used to proudly say that she was my friend. We never imagined this can happen to her. I am truly sorry for your loss. No one can replace her. Her life was a beautiful painting. Though she is not with us. Her beautiful memories and paintings will always be with us.


Sympathy Message to Deceased Old Person:

  1. I can never recollect a day in which dadaji didn’t ask me to make chai. He always loved my chai. I used to think that dadaji was happy whenever I got him his paper and chai. But I realized now that he was happy to see me. The chai and paper was just an excuse so that he could see me daily. Truly a great soul. May he live forever in our hearts. (You can change it with your own experience.)
  2. My dear naniji. She was my role model. She always told me those beautiful stories and inspired me. Today I am what I am because she encouraged me to be myself.. And she took me to different places and bought me my favorite things. I truly miss her. I can’t imagine a world without her. May she rest peacefully with nanaji.

Things to Avoid:

  1. He did not deserve to die.
    This can become more painful as you are reminding the pain. It is not going to heal them.
  2. He is finally peaceful. He lived a good life. It’s fine.
    This can be really rude if proper tone is not maintained. It can mean that it is okay with this death. And it is definitely not okay.
  3. She should not have died. It is not fair.
    It just makes it painful. Your words must be a word of hope and encouragement.
  4. It’s okay. You will be over it soon. Do not cry.
  5. Time heals everything. All this pain will go away.
    This line is okay if you are saying if after a year or something. But at all costs avoid using it before the time.

Some Questions:

  • My partner’s pet has passed away. She loved her more than herself. How can I comfort her?

    Dogs or cats are also like our family members. When we love them, we forget they are pets. And when they die, the pain doesn’t pass away quickly. Acknowledge to your partner that you think that the pet is also a part of the family. And make a proper goodbye so that it soothes her pain.

  • My parent’s friend passed away. What can I say to them?

    Since they are older. Maintain silence most of the time. And say a few respectful words such as, ‘My father always talks about Uncle, and how wonderful a person he was’. And some advice that he has given to you. You can share it and say that his advice was always helpful to you.

  • My relative died of alcohol addiction. What should I say to his family?

    It is a great loss indeed. Understand them and show your sincere sympathy in your words. Comfort them by telling how he has helped you or someone that you know. You can share your care for them by telling them some good experiences of him which no one knows. That would really comfort them.

  • My friend passed away fighting cancer. How could I comfort them?

    Cancer is a terrible disease. Many families have been broken by depression. Talk to them as their own son. Avoid trying to encourage them. It can be rude sometimes. You can share what good things he said about his family to you. And that he will rest in peace in all our memories. He died unexpectedly. So help his family with your care and concern.


When my brother’s friend passed away, I tried to remain mostly quiet. And spoke short sentences about him. I expressed my care by telling them that he was proud of his family. And that he loved his family more than he actually told them.

Because in the end, the deceased person’s family has to know that he loved them more than they could imagine.


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