99+ Funny One Line Quotes to Make You Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine. It cures everything, from self depreciative thoughts to a rough, hard day that seems never ending. There’s nothing a good dose of laughter can’t fix. Which is why we’ve brought this collection of funny one line quotes for when you need to lighten the mood.

This is the perfect collection for those who like to move forward with funny little twists on life’s ups and downs.

Best Funny One Line Quotes

Best funny one line quotes are the ones that instantly put a smile on your face. If you are having a hard day and need a good laugh then you know where to find quotes that are full of wit and humour. These one line quotes are fit for all types of situations and can even be great conversation starters.

I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
My bed and I are in a committed relationship.
Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most never use it.
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
I need six months of vacation, twice a year.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
Brains are awesome, I wish everyone had one.
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back.
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then it’s suspicious.
I put the “pro” in procrastination.
Some people need a high-five, in the face, with a chair.
I’m not great at advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
I told myself I should stop drinking, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
If sleep were a sport, I’d be an Olympic champion.

Keep the laughter going with funny jokes for WhatsApp and share them with your friends and families.

Short Funny One Line Quotes

If you’re a person of less words then then these short one line funny quotes are made for you. These short quotes say more in less words, they are precise and packed with humour that will leave you giggling, turning that frown into a big smile. These quirky and funny one line quotes are bound to get you in a good mood.

Too lazy to be lazy.
I came, I saw, I made it awkward.
Running late is my cardio.
I’m not old, I’m vintage.
I’m on cloud wine.
Born to nap, forced to work.
Wifi is my soulmate.
Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.
Friday is my spirit animal.
I’m allergic to mornings.
Chaos is my middle name.
Oops is my favorite word.
I whisper to WiFi signals.
Sarcasm: my second language.
Current mood: hungry.
No outfit is complete without cat hair.
Password: still can’t remember.
Life happens, coffee helps.
Brains loading… please wait.
Smile, it confuses people.

Make this summer humorous with this list of funny summer quotes for Instagram.

Funny One Line Quotes for Best Friend

Your best friend is like your personal diary. You share lots of inside jokes and incidents that don’t need any context to make you laugh. To celebrate this bond with you with humour that matches yours, we have brought this collection of funny one line quotes for you and your platonic soulmate. You can also use these one line quotes as captions to reflect the kind of bond you share with your best friend through posts on social media.

We go together like coffee and chaos.
You’re the peanut butter to my drama.
Best friends don’t judge, they join in.
We’ll be old and still causing trouble.
You’re my unpaid therapist.
We’re besties because everyone else sucks.
Life’s too short to be serious… that’s why I have you.
Best friends: cheaper than therapy, funnier too.
You know too much, so we’re stuck for life.
Besties—partners in crime and snacks.
Friendship is finding someone as weird as you.
We don’t do drama, we do sarcasm.
You’re the avocado to my toast.
Best friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
Our inside jokes could get us arrested.
Bestie: the reason I laugh at inappropriate times.
We’re not normal, but that’s why we’re perfect.
Friendship is sharing clothes and fries.
Besties: making bad decisions since day one.
You annoy me the least, so you’re my favorite.

If you married your best friend then make sure you don’t lose that platonic connection and use funny comments for wife on social media.

Funny One Line Quotes on Myself

Nothing showcases confidence better than having the courage to face your weaknesses with a smile on your face. These funny one line quotes that allow you to laugh with others instead of feeling like they’re laughing at you, making you more relatable and leading to a more personal connection. They’re also a great way to make bold first impressions.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on standby mode.
I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.
I don’t trip, I perform random gravity checks.
I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
I put the “pro” in procrastination.
I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.
I talk to myself because I need expert advice.
I’m not late, I’m fashionably delayed.
I don’t snore, I dream of motorcycles.
I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.
I don’t sweat, I sparkle.
I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
I don’t argue, I just explain why I’m right.
I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
I’m not sleeping, I’m resting my eyes.
I don’t make mistakes, I create unexpected lessons.
I’m not shy, I’m just silently judging.
I don’t sing in the shower, I perform concerts.
I’m not forgetful, I’m just giving my brain a break.
I don’t get older, I level up.

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Funny One Line Quotes for Sister

The bond that siblings share is an intriguing one because one moment you are roasting your sister just for fun and the next you are defending her if someone else does the same. This set of one line funny quotes are made for your sisters if annoying them is your way of showing your love for them. Celebrate this unique connection with humour and never let your laughter die.

Sisters: the perfect mix of love and annoyance.
My sister has the best sister in the world.
Having a sister means always having someone to blame.
Sisters: born to drive each other crazy.
Behind every little sister is a big sister rolling her eyes.
A sister is a built-in best friend with built-in drama.
Sisters: partners in crime and keepers of secrets.
No one gets me like my sister… and no one annoys me like her either.
A sister is both your mirror and your opposite.
Sisters: proof that we can survive constant arguments.
A sister will laugh at your jokes… even the bad ones.
Sisters: the only people allowed to steal your clothes.
My sister and I are like cats—cute but ready to fight.
Sisters don’t need words, they have eye-rolls.
A sister is like WiFi—always around, sometimes annoying.
Sisters: making childhood memorable and adulthood bearable.
Having a sister is having a permanent partner in sarcasm.
My sister knows all my secrets and still likes me… I think.
Sisters: because parents needed entertainment too.
No matter how much we fight, I’d never trade my sister.

Use Instagram bio generator to create a funny yet good first impression on viewers who are new to your page.

Funny One Line Quotes for Brother

Brothers can be as annoying as they can be protective. Sometimes they will irritate you just because they are bored but they will also always show up for you when you need them. The connection between you and your brother is full of quarrels and arguments but it’s also filled with inside jokes that nobody else understands. Use this list of funny one line quotes and remind your brother that you’re thinking of him and all his silly jokes.

Brothers: the perfect mix of bodyguard and troublemaker.
A brother is a friend given by nature… with extra teasing.
My brother is my biggest rival and strongest ally.
Brothers: born to fight, forced to love.
A brother is someone who steals your stuff and calls it sharing.
Growing up with a brother means free wrestling practice.
Behind every little brother is a big brother laughing at him.
Brothers: because parents needed chaos in stereo.
A brother is the only person who can push all your buttons and still be your favorite.
My brother thinks he’s funny… sometimes he is.
A brother will always have your back, usually after pushing you first.
Having a brother means endless pranks and priceless memories.
Brothers don’t hug, they tackle.
A brother is a teammate for life’s game of mischief.
My brother annoys me daily, but life would be boring without him.
Brothers: the reason your childhood wasn’t boring.
A brother is proof that boys never really grow up.
He’s my brother—mess with him and you’ll meet me.
Brothers: half best friend, half bodyguard, all trouble.
I smile because you’re my brother, I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.

You can also use brother and sisters quotes to show your sibling how much you care for them.

Funny One Line Quotes on Life

Finding humor in obstacles is a personality trait that not everyone has. Life can be a difficult journey but it becomes easier when you have the right attitude and the right company that helps you deal with it in a positive manner. To fill this venture with endless laughter and add a spark of humour to it we have brought this collection of funny one line quotes on life that will teach you valuable lessons in a witty and quirky way.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
Life is like a sandwich, the more you add to it the better it gets.
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
Life is like WiFi, you don’t always get the connection you want.
Life happens, coffee helps.
Life is like a camera—focus on the good, delete the bad, and take another shot.
Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.
Life is like math, sometimes it just doesn’t add up.
Life is too short for matching socks.
Life is like a rollercoaster—scream or enjoy the ride.
Life is short, buy the shoes.
Life is like a selfie, it depends on how you frame it.
Life is 10% what happens and 90% memes.
Life is like a cup of tea, it’s all in how you make it.
Life is short, nap often.
Life is like a phone battery—enjoy it before it dies.
Life’s too short to be serious all the time, so if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me and I’ll do it for you.
Life is like underwear, change is good.
Life is short, eat more tacos.
Life doesn’t have a remote, get up and change it yourself.

Besides this list, you can also check out motivational quotes for life and start your mornings on the right note.

Wrapping Up

The rush of dopamine when you’ve had a good laugh is more than enough to make your days better. Scientific studies have said that laughing helps you live a longer and healthier life, meaning these one line funny quotes are looking after your physical as well as mental health. We hope that here you’re able to find the ones that match your personality or situation that you’re dealing with.